SPARKLE!! New Years Eve Party @ Townhouse 31st Dec 2018

New Years Eve

So it’s the BIGGEST party night of the year and it’s a guaranteed lock in with Glitz, Glamour and oodles of SPARKLE!!!!

We invite you to join us from 8.30pm for the last party of the year and take us into the first party of next year. Townhouse know how to throw a New Years Eve party so you don’t want to miss it!

The club will be decked in Sequins, glitter, bling and SPARKLE! There will even be sparkling nibbles on the bar, bling shots and of course Sparkling bubbly for our NYE toast!  We will offer our usual luxurious NYE buffet fit for a King offering you a final chance to indulge before you attempt your new years resolutions to eat heatlhy! lol      Our DJ will be rocking the roof off the club so make sure you bring your sparkly dancing shoes.

Wondering what to wear to impress and entice people to the playrooms? The clue is in the title!!! Sequins, glitter body paint, glitter beards, bling accessories, glamorous frocks, shiny undercrackers…lets SPARKLE the SHIT out of New Years Eve!!!!

Our Butler will be circulating with canapes and later on he will be serving bubbly so be sure to give his bum a squeeze on the way past…he responds well  to snogs too 😉 Our shot waitress will be offering free shots in the lead up to midnight and she tends to shed layers of clothes as the clock ticks closer to the big countdown!!

This is a TICKET ONLY EVENT so we can control numbers. You will not get in without a ticket, so please tell your friends in case they miss this ad.

Our prices remain cheap, despite it being ‘the big one’

Couples £25  Ladies £10, TGirls £10, Single guys £30 (guys must be members and we have just 8 places)   You can buy your tickets at our box office, via paypal or directly with us at reception.

We ask that you do not bring your own booze to this party and full loyalty cards will not be accepted for free entry due to the high overheads.  Our bar is highly subsidised and prices will not be increased for this night.  We are offering overnights if you want to make a night of it and the staff always stay up and hit the bar after hours so why not join us?  It’s just £15 per person  to stay over and these are booked directly with me.

Sooooooooo….grab your tickets while you can….you don’t want to miss this!




Oktoberfest @ Townhouse 20th October 2018


Whether you’re a fan of beer or not, this night is going to be awesome and one for your swinging calendar!

For The beer lovers – We will have a range of craft beer, German and mainstream beer in bottles, can and on draught. Sourced from local craft microbreweries and researched from years of travels around Germany, we have selected beers for most palates from the traditional golden ale, IPA and the fruity craft beers that are in vogue at the moment.

We will have a pop up bar in our lounge for draught beer and some bottled/canned beers, as well as our main bar for bottled beer.

For the non beer lovers – We will have our usual massive range of alcohol and soft drinks on our main bar and we will have draught cider on our pop up bar.

For those who just want to play and not drink alcohol – this night will be great just for the amazing vibe, so beer drinking is not essential! There will be filth and fuckery as usual upstairs, so there will be no less play than normal 😊

In keeping with Oktoberfest, we will have giant pretzels as well as mini pretzels  and pastries to nibble on throughout the evening.

This is not a German themed night, so don’t think you have to arrive in Lederhosen! Lol This is simply a bringing together of people who appreciate good beer and want to mix this with a bit of slap n tickle 😉 lol

Entry prices remain the same as always:

Couples – £25

Guys – £30 (max 8 guys who must be members and must book in advance)

Females – £5

Tgirls – £10

See you there!

Vicky xx

RAWnch – Pure Play @ Townhouse 6th October

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Curious about our RAW! Parties but feel you may be out of your depth? We are bringing you a slice of RAW on a Saturday night! BUT…
A Couples and Singles Ladies Only Version!

RAWnch will be a heady, sexually charged atmosphere with one big difference to the RAW event…NO SINGLE MEN! Yes, for one Saturday night only, we are not inviting any single guys to the party.

Expect a bit less conversation than a typical Saturday night and a lot more action. For those greedy couples and single ladies that don’t want a heavy male to female ratio but want to cut loose and be sexually free for the night. We will share all of our toys (drilldo, American challenge dildo, dildo rocker etc) and you can bring your toys. Tonight is the night to fulfil some fantasies.

We are insisting on an early dress down to get the party started so if you’re brave enough, feel free to show up in a coat with just your sexy skimpies on underneath. Otherwise, please be prepared to dress down upon arrival.

The bunk bed room will be converted into a dark room with glowsticks and glow in the dark condoms and the dungeons will be open to encourage your darkest desires and you can play anywhere in the club apart from the hot tub.

For those exhibitionists that LOVE to be watched, we are bringing RAW’s ‘fuck pit’ to the lounge!

Mattresses filling the centre of the room with sofas set out around them. A sexy show for those voyeurs that just LOVE to perv.

Newbies or less experienced swingers are welcome to come along as there is no pressure to play or join in. You can have a nosey, relax in our hot tub and soak up the atmosphere.

Normal prices apply.
The event runs from 830pm – 3am
You will need to bring two forms of ID with you, dress to impress (no sportswear or trainers) and you will need £10 for your locker key deposit.

Townhouse has a well-stocked, subsidised bar with a branded doubles bar and our much loved oriGIN bar for all you juniper junkies.

If you’re attending for the first time or have any questions, then drop us a message

LEATHER & LACE Rock Night! 4th October

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ITS THE LAST ONE OF THE YEAR!!! Leather & Lace Rock Night, my private party, makes it’s return to Townhouse on Thurs 4th October.

The same tried and true format, socialising, dancing and shagging. Along with an eclectic mix of rock, punk and metal genres. Think Faith No More, Rob Zombie, Greenday, All Time Low, Offspring, Metallica, Type O Negative, Less than Jake, Slayer, Kiss, NIN, ACDC, Ozzy, Nirvana, Queens of the stone age, Scorpions, Placebo, Gary Numan, Steel Panther etc etc…

There will be over 400 tracks playing in the bar, as well as music video classics playing in the lounge. The top floor will feature more chilled indie and punk tracks, the middle floor some metal tracks to go with a darker theme.

Dress code is relaxed, though themed outfits are encouraged, think Sex Pistols, Motley Cruel, Kiss, Gwar! Leather, lace, latex, studs, Doc martens, spandex, big hair, tight jeans, monster costumes… Dress to impress but band t-shirts at a bare minimum. Don’t forget upstairs there will be the usual dress down enforced. Fet players are fine in ALL BLACK, though fetish wear is encouraged. No sports wear or normal trainers, but skater boys and girls will be fine in skate shoes…

The event is open to members and Non-members alike. To come along all you need to do is email us and ask to go down on the list. Entry is £10 per person, plus a £10 deposit for your locker key and bar tab.

Non-members must bring two forms of ID (picture and address, both of you if a couple) Members should remember cards or bring ID if you can’t find them. Non-members MUST be on the guestlist. Newbies are asked to arrive before 9:30 so they can be given a tour. Absolute last entry is 11pm.

Unfortunately you won’t be able to bring your own booze to this one but the club has a well stocked bar, and really good prices – £2.20 for a beer or cider, £7 for a double, premium, g&t – There are no overnight stays available for this one, but there are a number of hotel options a short taxi ride away, just ask for suggestions.

MILF MONDAY ‘The Rock-tober One’ @ Townhouse 1st October

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Wow!! No sooner does one Milf Monday end than the next one is on the horizon!!

This month, it’s ‘Rock-tober’ … so dust off your air guitars & give the spandex an airing, because Milf Monday is celebrating all things Rock ‘n’ Roll, baby!!

Whether you yearn for the sequinned spandex of the glam-rock era, the spiky haired shock-rock of punk, the long hair & denim of the 80’s classic rock or you still pledge allegiance to The King himself, this event has it all!!

We want to see your best rock outfits, from spandex onesies & platform boots to long hair & double denim … think Marc Bolan meets Jon Bon Jovi!!

And if the full costume is too much to manage, then let’s see those band t-shirts!! We won’t judge, we’ve all got them – and there’s a free drink to the most random t-shirt on display!! (Although we reserve the right to refuse entry to anyone wearing a ‘Jedward’ t-shirt!!)

If you’d like to attend then please email us and we’ll be sure to add you on to our guest list. Please be aware that this event is GUEST LIST ONLY!

The backstage pass for Milf Monday’s Rock-tober is £10 for our Rock Gods, but all the gorgeous girls will get free entry (after all, what’s a Rockstar without his groupies?! )

Feel free to post in the thread, make some friends and get yourselves all excited before the party starts!!

Look forward to seeing you all on the 1st!!
‘The Notso Small Print’

The club can be found at 9 Union St, Birkenhead, CH42 3TL.
This is a daytime event for ladies and couples who want to meet single guys. Some of our girls are greedy too, so we aim for a 3:1 ratio of guys to girls at their request.

Doors open at 10:30 and closing time is 15:30. Last entry is 1pm
We cap numbers at 100 to make it pleasant and comfortable for our guests, therefore this is a strict GUESTLIST ONLY party. Please only place your name on the list if you can definitely make it as places are in demand; we have a 3 strike rule for people who continuously waste places.

We also ask that you stick to a ‘smart/casual’ dress code – no hoodies, sportswear or trainers

NON MEMBERS/NEWBIES – You are MORE than welcome at the club and I’ll be happy to give you a tour of the place and answer any questions you may have on the day.

You will just need to bring some photo ID with you AND something with your address on. NO ID = NO ENTRY! Townhouse members, just bring along your membership card.

You will need a £10 deposit for your locker key/bar tab which is offset against your bar bill. Townhouse has a very cheap licensed bar to keep you refreshed throughout the day, so please leave your own drinks at home. Towels are available or you can bring your own.

PLEASE DO NOT PARK in Bookers car park or the car parks of other local businesses. Parking enforcements are operating in the area so please be aware of this. There is plenty of on-street parking in and around Union Street. Please be considerate to local residents (no obstructing driveways etc).

Thank you.

GOTHIC NOIR HALLOWEEN Party @ Townhouse 27th Oct 2018!


It’s our 2nd busiest party night of the year and once again we are presenting a Halloween party to remember!! Those who have enjoyed our Halloween parties in the past will know that we pull out all the stops as it’s our fave night on the calendar! Those who haven’t….you’re in for a treat!!! 😉

This year’s GOTHIC NOIR theme is inspired by the likes of Bram Stokers Dracula, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Dorian Grey, Jekyll and Hyde, Interview with a vampire and Jack the Ripper. Think dark, gothic, steampunk, victoriana…let’s 19th century the shit out of this thing! Be as weird, wonderful, quirky and inventive as you like. The groundfloor will be transported back in time, lit by candles and steeped in the macabre.

We will be offering an amazing prize to the best dressed couple and single, so don’t hold back!!!

We will be offering our scrummy buffet and the highly popular syringe shots; all included in your entry. Our DJ will also be with us if you want to scare everyone with your moves! Lol

This WILL be busy so we are closing the doors at 10.30pm. Please be as early as possible to avoid disappointment.

Normal Saturday prices apply

£25 couples

£5 females

£10 Tgirls

£30 guys – only 8 places and you must be a member and book in advance.

Overnights will be available if you want to make a night of it for just £15 per person.

See you there!


HARLOTS!!! One Year Anniversary Party 27th Sept

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Well hello Harlots and Gentlemen. Can you believe it’s been a year since the first HARLOTS!? I’m very much looking forward to celebrating with you all. My hot naked butler will be on hand to welcome you gorgeous ladies with some bubbles. There will also be some delectable treats on offer for the gents too. Something sweet and savoury for all to devour!And for those of you who haven’t been to Harlots before, here’s the spiel…..

Harlots is ALL about us ladies.  A new concept that focuses purely on us classy, sexual, desirable ladies and our needs.  Ladies who love to socialise, flirt and play.  Sexually empowered goddesses who just love to be lavished with attention in more ways than one.  For us sassy, glamorous ladies who’s standards are higher than our heels. Only true gentlemen will be considered for this event and when we say gentlemen we mean it. You will have exceptional manners and be socially adaptable and chivalrous. These traits are essential but only a start. You should be good looking, impeccably groomed and smartly dressed.

Being a gentlemen is what Harlots is all about and we’ll accept nothing less.  Single gentlemen should be aged 21-45 in order to attend this event.  No exceptions!

Couples who fit the above criteria are more than welcome to attend (no upper age limit for gents in couples).

This event is like no other and therefore it is strictly “invitation only”.  If you’d like to be considered then please email us

The not so small print….

Doors open at 19.30 and closing time is 01.30

We have a strict dress code at Townhouse so sportswear and trainers are NOT permitted.  Please make the effort and dress to impress!

If you are new to the club then I’ll be more than happy to give you a tour of the place on the night. We have good mix of large group play rooms, private rooms and dungeons for you to fulfil your fantasties.  Not forgetting the social areas like the bar, lounge, jacuzzi and sauna.

Females: £10

Couples: £15

Males (Members): £20

Males (Non members) £25

You will need £10 as a locker key deposit and we ask that you purchase your drinks from our very reasonably priced and well stocked bar.

If you are not a member of Townhouse, then please bring either your driver’s license or two forms of ID (one to be photo ID AND something with your address on)

Buxom Babes @ Townhouse 20th Sept

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It’s time to ‘Flaunt Your Curves’ ladies!!

Well, the summer holidays are drawing to a close and the new term is almost upon us, so make sure you don’t miss registration, or Miss Morticia may just have to give you 6 of the best!!

Yes, you guessed it, Buxom Babes is going BACK TO SCHOOL for September, so dig out the shorts, the skirts, the pigtails & the tie!! We want to see naughty schoolgirls, mad science geeks, horny headmasters or pervy PE students!! Dressing up is NOT obligatory, but it is always fun & the best outfit on the night will win a free drink!!

As always, this event celebrates those luscious ladies who have curves to die for – and the guys & girls who adore them!! And lets face it, we all know who it is that makes the rocking world go round!

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a Buxom Babe, a Plus-size Princess, a Curvy Kitten or a Voluptuous Vixen. It’s not about ‘labels’, it’s about flaunting your fabulous assets and having the confidence to do so! No matter if you are blessed with Beyonce’s booty, Shakira’s hips, Kim’s boobs or Nigella’s thighs … every ‘body’ is welcome

For the guys & girls who adore a lady with added va-va-voom, then this is the night for you! We are looking for both classy ladies & gorgeous gents who want to impress our Buxom Babes … and maybe more!!

We have also got a surprise party gift to give away to one lucky lady who’s name will be drawn at random from the guestlist on the night!

We have a strict dress code for this event, so sportswear and trainers are NOT permitted. Please make the effort and dress to impress!

And remember … Curvy is the new black!

‘The Small Print’
The event will be held at Townhouse, 9 Union St, Birkenhead, CH42 3TL.
Doors open at 19:30 and closing time is 01:30

For any newbies to Townhouse, I’ll be more than happy to show you round on the night. It’s a gorgeous club with fabulous facilities and 4 floors of fun for you to explore! There is a good mix of large group play rooms, more intimate areas, private rooms and dungeons for you to fulfil your fantasies. Not forgetting the social areas like the bar, lounge, hot tub and sauna.

Entry Prices:
* Ladies – £5
* Couples – £ 10
* Gents – members £10 / non-members £20
* T-Girls – £5

You will need £10 as a locker key deposit and we ask that you purchase your drinks from our very reasonably priced and well stocked bar, including a huge selection for any gin lovers from our oriGIN bar. If you need a towel, one can be obtained at reception for a nominal cost of £1, or you are welcome to bring your own.

If you are not a member of Townhouse, then please bring either your driving license or two forms of ID – one must be photo ID as well as something with your address on, such as a utility or mobile bill. Members simply need to show their membership card.

Look forward to seeing you there!!
Morticia xx

FALL BALL Big Party Night at Townhouse! 29th Sept


You are cordially invited to Townhouse on 29th September 2018 for our Fall Ball end of month party!

The nights are drawing in and we’re getting all Autumnal at Townhouse! Don’t worry about feeling the cold though as we’ll be sure to keep you warm all night long!!!

This is a formal themed party and we ask guests to dust down their fineries and dress to impress. We’re not asking for tuxedos unless that’s your thing, but trousers and shirt are a bare minimum with suits or waistcoats being the preferred attire. Ladies, go all out and glam up as much as you dare…lets bling the shit out of this thing!!

Once we all dress down after 11pm, you could always continue the formal look and just wear a dickie bow or ladies could wear something skimpy and sequined?! Lol think dazzling and debauched!

We will be offering up Autumnal treats throughout the night, such as cinder toffee and marshmallows to roast on our open fire pit!

Our end of month parties are always busy and we recommend that everybody aims to arrive before 10.30pm to guarantee entry.

The usual Saturday night prices apply and we are only admitting 8 single guys who must be established members and book in advance.

See you all there! Now to decide which frock to wear…decisions decisions!!!