New members join Townhouse all the time, which is testament to our excellent reputation as a welcoming, no pressure venue!!:-)
We gets dozens of messages and phone calls a day with questions from prospective members, asking questions before they make the big step into the swinging scene. It is important that new members get as much information as possible to enable them to make an informed decision on whether swinging is for them and indeed, whether Townhouse is the right club for them. Here are the answers to some of the frequently asked questions:
Q -Are we expected to join in straight away?
A – ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Most newcomers take baby steps onto the scene and start off by watching the dynamics of others or playing privately with each other in a locked room. It may take a few visits before you feel like playing with other people, you may even decide that you don’t want to play with other people at all! There are some members who get a thrill out of watching others or being watched. The key is taking things at your own pace.
Q – We are not sure what we want, we just feel attracted to the swinging scene.
A – The main thing is that you communicate with one another. Discuss what it is about the swinging scene that gets you excited. Set some boundaries and stick to them. You may find that your boundaries change over time, but if you keep talking to one another, you will be enjoying the scene whilst keeping your own relationship safe.
Q – What do people wear and what is ‘dress down’?
A – We do have a dress code which excludes Tracksuits, sportswear, hoodies and trainers. We say smart casual on most nights, but people tend to dress up more on our party nights. So smart casual for guys may be smart jeans, shoes and shirt or smart top. Ladies tend to wear a dress or trousers/skirt with dressy top. You can be as adventurous as you like and if you prefer to wear kiky clothes or play outfits, then this is great too! ‘Dress down’ is only needed in the upstairs play areas after 11pm. You can wear whatever you want in the downstairs social areas, so this is perfect for newbies who may be nervous about stripping off! For dress down, guys tend to wear, boxers, shorts or a towel. Ladies tend to wear sexy lingerie, wraps, negligees, playsuits, basques or a towel. We have a dress down policy upstairs to make a level playing field for everybody as clothing in play areas can come across as seedy.
Q – What is the age range of guests?
A – Swinging attracts people of all ages, from 18 – 80 but on the scene in general, the average age is 28 – 55. Some nights attract a younger crowd, some nights attracts an older crowd, but we never can tell. We open our doors and see who turns up.
Q – Will you be busy tonight?
A – If I had a pound for everytime I was asked this question, I could move to the caribbean! lol I think people expect me to have a 6th sense and a crystal ball tucked in my handbag! Because we don’t take bookings, we really can’t tell you how busy a night will be. There are some nights that I can guarantee to be busy, i.e. end of month party and fetish nights, but as for the other nights, it varies greatly. Things like school holidays, football matches and the weather can affect numbers! lol
Q – Will there be lots of single guys there?
A – Wednesday nights are busier for single guys as we don’t have a restriction, this is because it is a greedy girl night and they want to meet as many guys as possible. At the weekend, we restrict the number of guys who can come to 6 on a Friday and 8 on a Saturday. This means that there are enough guys for those who want to meet them, but not too many for those who don’t. If you are worried about single guys, please be assured that our guys need to go through a process before they get a membership and we find that our guys are respectful, understanding and great company. If you would rather attend on a night where there are no single guys, then we have a couples only night on the 2nd Friday of every month.
Q – I am very body concious, will everybody be slim and body beautiful?
A – NO!!!! We welcome people of all different shapes and sizes. We ALL have body image issues; most people will have something that they don’t like about themselves. So please do not think there is a sterotypical swinger, we are normal people who all have confidence issues. You will find it very liberating to dress down amongst other people and we find that many members find a new confidence in themselves once they have enjoyed the scene for a while.
Q – Our relationship is on the rocks, do you think swinging will spice up our relationship?
A – Sorry but no. I honestly believe that it would be the demise of your relationship. Swinging only really works if you are in a solid relationship, which is open, honest and thriving. Swinging should not be used to replace anything that is missing in your relationship, it should be an additional part of your relationship.
Q – What if we see someone we know?
A – Well they are there for the same thing as you, so after the initial shock, you can have a laugh about it. Some swingers travel away from home to a club miles away in the hopes that they will avoid bumping into someone they know, but what they don’t realise is that a lot of swingers have the same idea!! We have met people from Liverpool, hundreds of miles away fromm home. So you are best just choosing a club based on merit, rather than it’s proximity to your home! lol The first rule of the club is ‘What goes on in the club, stays in the club’. Swinging only works if we can trust one another and uphold this very important rule. So if you bump into someone that you know from the club in Tesco, you shouldn’t be going over blurting out that you know them from the swinging scene…it’s common sense but has to be said!
Q – What if someone asks us to play and we don’t want to?
A – Just politely say no thank you! Swingers are used to the knock back lol! We are all attracted to different people so it is natural that someone may like you, but the feelings are not mutual…and visa versa may I add! The best way to establish who is into what and if a couple/person is attracted to you is make conversation. Mingle, chat, have a laugh…you will usually establish pretty quickly who is attracted to who and if they are interested in you. We don’t hold psychic abilities so unless you speak to people and ask, we won’t know you are interested.
Q – What if we don’t meet people we would like to play with?
A – Play is never guaranteed…obviously! lol If you come to the club with an expectation of play, then you will be disappointed as you won’t play on every visit. You should see you time at Townhouse as a night out, as a social to meet new people and have a laugh….then if you play, it’s a bonus; if you don’t, then you won’t be disappointed.
Q – What is the ‘coloured band system’ that I have heard about?
A – This is a bit of fun and also a way of telling people what you are into without even opening your mouth! The bands can be found on reception for you to take and wear. Not everyone will wear the bands, but some do and it’s fun when you approach the bar and someone has the same coloured band as you; it’s a good ice breaker! 🙂 Here is the colour code: Red = not playing tonight, just socialising, Yellow = soft swap, girl girl, finding our feet, Green = bring it on, we are a full swap couple! Pink = I want to meet a single guy.
Q – What is the difference between full swap & soft swap?
A – It is a myth that swinging means a mass orgy or swapping in separate rooms! It also doesn’t mean throwing your keys in a bowl and walking away with the owner of the keys! lol In fact swinging is so varied from couple to couple. Here are some of the different ways in which people enjoy the swinging scene: Voyeurism – This is watching other people at play. Exhibitionism – playing in front of other people for your own pleasure. Soft Swap – This can be simply kissing and touching another couple, it could be oral sex, it could be females only playing. Full swap – this is when 2 couples swap partners, but in most cases, it is a group situation and not a straight swap…so females may play, there may be threesome play while the other watches for a bit…there’s lots of scenarios! Full swap generally happens in the same room, but some couples like the idea of being in different rooms. It’s a personal preference really. Orgy – This is when several couples and maybe even some singles are ‘invited’ into a group play situation. So there may be several partner swaps, maybe some girl girl, threesomes, foursomes, moresomes….it’s a sea of skin!! lol Not for the faint hearted!
Q – I am worried about STI’s
A – We actively promote safe sex in our club by providing condoms free of charge and we encourage everybody to protect themselves and others by insisting upon the use of condoms. We recommend that you change condoms from partner to partner in group situations and please do not ‘forget’ to have them handy. There is no excuse for unprotected sex. We are soon going to provide a drop in clinic once a month for people to come along and have themselves tested for several STI’s, courtesy of the Terrence Higgins Trust. Many STI’s can be identified within half an hour, so no waiting!