James Bond 007 CASINO Party Night @ Townhouse 28th March

You are required to rendezvous at Townhouse on Saturday 28th March for a very special mission. You must be ready for anything… adopt a disguise and be licensed to thrill!

Ensure you are fully equipped with gadgets via ‘Q’, as the guests can be very demanding and you will need your wits about you.

To gain entry, you must say the password ‘Betty Swollocks’; by this your host will know you accept your mission! You may be handed a coded message but it is For Your Eyes Only so keep it safe. To avoid the admission of unwanted civilians, you will be required to verify your identity….you know what to do. The lady on reception is your friend and will take good care of you, tip her well!

You will be summoned to the Casino Royale where you will find 2 gambling tables with croupiers. Mingle with the other guests and try not to lose all of your chips or ‘M’ will not be happy!

It may be unpredictable at times and watch out for Pussy Galore, I hear she is everywhere!!

The other guests will be wearing smart attire and evening dresses, so it will be hard to differentiate between the sick and twisted and the innocent bystanders, so mingle and figure out who is who. Try not to be awkward and draw attention to yourself; dancing with guests will deter suspicious eyes, oh and I hear the cakes are to Live and Let Die for too!

This party is like no other…it is adult in nature and you may be invited into rooms to partake in activities of a sensual nature. Although we understand that this is very tempting, remember that you represent Her Majesty’s Secret Service and debauchery whilst on duty is prohibited, not that this has stopped you before!

This party could take you places you have never been before….but with your ‘weapon’, you will no doubt live to Die Another Day.

Good luck!!!

not so small print……


Couples £25, Ladies & TGirls £10, Single Guys £30

A £10 cash deposit is required for your locker key/bar tab

Doors 8.30pm til 3am – last entry 10.30pm (9.30pm for newbies)

DJ and cake/sweet treats on offer

New couples and ladies welcome. Bring your membership card or if you are new, bring a driving licence or a passport AND utility bill

8 places for guys who must be members

Get your best clobber on!

Illicit Parties Presents – PADDY’S NIGHT HOOLEY @ Townhouse 21st March 2020


With so many Irish folk at Townhouse and Mrs J being from Irish stock, we always go mad for Paddy’s night and have a good old knees up

If you have been before, you’ll know that Paddy’s nights are a tad….WILD!

This year we are planning a Hooley, so make sure you get some red bull down you because we are going to dance the bejeezuz out of ya!

The club will be decorated to set the scene, but it would be great if our guests got into the spirit and dressed for the occasion! The Irish tricolor is your inspiration

Come along and get jiggy on the dancefloor before you get jiggy in our playrooms. This is going to be AWESOME and not to be missed!

We are offering you a reduced price entry if you’re on our guestlist, so email Vicky, the owner at infotownhouse@aol.com to book your place. If you are not on the list, you will pay the regular Saturday night prices.

Couples – £15 (non members welcome
Ladies – free (non members welcome)
Single Guys – £20 (must be pre approved &

You’ll need a £10 CASH deposit for your locker key and bar tab

Doors open 8.30pm-3am…Last entry is 10.30pm or 9.30pm if you are new to Townhouse

We have a strict dress code at Townhouse – ripped jeans, sportswear and trainers are NOT permitted…. Dress to impress

If you are not a member of Townhouse then please bring along two forms of ID with you (one photo ID AND something with your address on)

See you there for one of our favourite nights of the year
Mr & Mrs J – Illcit Parties xxx

Raise your glasses! –
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer and another one! –
The Irish Toast
Beannachtam na Feile Padraig

HARLOTS! @ Townhouse Thurs 26th March ‘ Dapper Gents & Ladies with Standards as High as Their Heels’!

For ladies and couples who are looking to meet dapper gents.

For those of you who haven’t been to HARLOTS before, here’s the spiel…..

HARLOTS is ALL about the ladies. A concept that focuses purely on sexual, desirable ladies and their needs. Ladies who love to socialise, flirt and play. Sexually empowered goddesses who just love to be lavished with attention in more ways than one. For us sassy, glamorous ladies who’s standards are higher than our heels.

Only gentlemen types will be considered for this event. With exceptional manners and great social skills. Gents should be good looking, impeccably groomed and DRESSED TO IMPRESS. Being a gentlemen is what HARLOTS is all about and we’ll accept nothing less. Single gents should be aged 21-45 in order to attend this event. No exceptions!

Couples who fit the above criteria are more than welcome to attend (no upper age limit for gents in couples).

This event is like no other and therefore it is strictly “invitation only”. If you’d like to be considered then please email Vicky, the owner at infotownhouse@aol.com

CharlotteHarlot  xx

Just a little more information on the venue:

Doors open at 19.30 and closing time is 01.30

We have a strict dress code at Townhouse so sportswear/ripped jeans/trainers/caps are NOT permitted. Please make the effort and DRESS TO IMPRESS!

NEWBIES; you’re required to book in and pre-pay in advance, so please contact Vicky at the email above to secure you space on the guest list. We’ll be more than happy to give you a tour of the place on the night and answer any questions you may have. Please arrive by 9.30pm.

It’s a gorgeous club with fabulous facilities. Townhouse has 4 floors of fun for you to explore! A good mix of large group play rooms, private rooms and dungeons for you to fulfil your fantasies. Not forgetting the social areas like the bar, lounge, jacuzzi and sauna.

Females: £10
Couples: £15
Males (Members): £20
Males (Non members) £25

You will need £10 CASH as a locker key deposit and we ask that you purchase your drinks from our very reasonably priced and well stocked bar.

If you are not a member of Townhouse, then please bring either your driver’s licence or two forms of ID (one to be photo ID AND something with your address on)

CLUSTERFUCK @ Townhouse! ‘Czech Gloryhole & Gangbang’ Party Friday 27th March

It’s time for another exciting instalment of CLUSTERFUCK and we are back at Townhouse on Friday 27th March!

January Clusterfuck was a full capacity event so to save any disappointment and the dreaded FOMO, you are advised to get your name on the guest list ASAP! Contact Vicky, the owner at infotownhouse@aol.com

The ever popular Czech Gloryholes will be making a return for anyone who wants to experience anonymous fuckery (chaperoned for safety of course..no bag, no shag).
Please step forward if you have any fantasies about laying back and letting a queue of horny individuals have their wicked way. Also, if any couples have a fantasy of seeing their partner in the Gloryholes while you conduct the proceedings or just simply ‘holding their hand’ while they are in ecstasy then please message us!

If the Czech Gloryhole is not for you, then we have several more zones for you to ‘cluster up’ and bang as a gang! As always, Townhouse events are LGBTQ+ friendly, so we are more than happy to orchestrate any mixed, same sex or anything goes fuckery!

For any newbies, we’ll be more than happy to show you around on the night to get you settled in. Townhouse is an elegant club with first class facilities and 4 floors of fun for you to explore! There is a great mix of large open group play rooms, intimate areas and private rooms for you to fulfill your fantasies. Not forgetting the social areas like the bar, the newly refurbed lounge, hot tub and sauna.

Doors open at 20:30 and closing time is 03:00

Please make the effort to dress to impress!! (no sportswear and trainers/pumps/trainer shoes permitted). Although an early dress down is not insisted, it is recommended, so if you’re brave enough, feel free as it helps to get the party started early; we will be!

For further information and to see photos of the club then please check out the Fab Swingers Club Directory for the ‘Townhouse Wirral’

Entry Prices:
Females £10
TV/TS £10
Males (members) £20
Males (Non-members) £25
Couples £20

If you are not a member of Townhouse, then please bring either your photo driving licence or two forms of ID – one must be photo ID as well as something with your address on, such as a utility or mobile bill.

Members simply need to show their membership card.

Overnight stays are available for £15 per person, this will need to be booked directly with the club. Either give them a call or message them on the club profile “Townhouse Twosome”

**Small Changes for the New Year**

NEWBIES TO TOWNHOUSE please contact the club directly as you will need to pay your full entry price ahead of the event to secure your place. Contact Vicky at the email above

Guests will need a £10 CASH deposit for your locker key/bar tab and you can purchase your drinks from our very reasonably priced and well stocked bar. The deposit is offset against your bar bill at the end.

Vaping is only allowed within the smoking area.

We are looking forward to seeing you there!!!

LittleVixen & SiandJane

BUXOM BABES @ Townhouse ‘Curvy is the New Black’ Thurs 19th March

Curvy is definitely the new Black!

Can you believe that it’s 2 years since I started hosting Buxom Babes??!! That has flown by, and I think it’s a milestone worth celebrating!!

So this month, it’s an anniversary party!! Get out your glad rags, I want to see you all in your party best!! Guys, we want you suited & booted for this one … and ladies, let’s see those party frocks, elegant gowns or LBD’s!!

There will be party games & a couple of prizes to be won, so this is one you do not want to miss!!

As always, this event is not about ‘labels’, it’s about flaunting your fabulous assets and having the confidence to do so! No matter if you are blessed with Beyonce’s booty, Shakira’s hips, Kim’s boobs or Nigella’s thighs … every ‘body’ is welcome

As this is a limited numbers event, please get your name down early – once the maximum number is reached, any additional names will be added to a reserve list

We have a strict dress code for this event, so sportswear and trainers are NOT permitted. Please make the effort and dress to impress!

And remember … if you’ve got it, flaunt it!

‘The Small Print’

Doors open at 19:30 and closing time is 01:30

For any newbies to Townhouse, we’ll be more than happy to show you round on the night. It’s a gorgeous club with fabulous facilities and 4 floors of fun for you to explore! There is a good mix of large group play rooms, more intimate areas, private rooms and dungeons for you to fulfil your fantasies. Not forgetting the social areas like the bar, lounge, hot tub and sauna.

Entry Prices:
The entry fee for this event is now a flat rate of £10 per person for ladies, couples and single guys with club memberships.

For non-member single guys, it’s £20

Anyone visiting the club for the first time will need to contact the club directly & pay in advance to secure a place on the guest list; please contact Vicky at infotownhouse@aol.com

You will need £10 CASH deposit for your locker key, and you can purchase your drinks from our very reasonably priced and well stocked bar, including a huge selection for any gin lovers from our oriGIN bar. If you need a towel, one can be obtained at reception for a nominal cost of £1, or you are welcome to bring your own.

If you are not a member of Townhouse, then please bring either your driving licence or two forms of ID – one must be photo ID as well as something with your address on, such as a utility or mobile bill. Members simply need to show their membership card.

Look forward to seeing you there!!
Morticia xx

TOWNHOUSE ‘TAKEOVER’ Thursday 5th March 2020

What’s a takeover?

It’s a night where anything goes!! For one night, we are handing over the club to you! EVERYONE is welcome, whether you are a swinger, fetishist, newbie, experienced player or just a kinky fucker trying to find their way in the lifestyle.

Nothing is out of bounds and all forms of consensual play is encouraged…anywhere and everywhere! (Still no sex in the hot tub though; it play’s havoc with the filters!!) No themes, no style, no prerequisites…it’s your club, you take it over.

Been trying to arrange a meet, but neither can accommodate? Townhouse is here for you. You can use it how you want, no membership required! Come in, have a drink, relax with your meet and use the facilities.

Do you have a BDSM fantasy, but don’t feel comfortable visiting a full on BDSM night? This is the night for you! We will grant you access to the cellar dungeon if you wish!

Maybe you have a hotel hot wife fantasy? Well you can use the club as your hotel! We have private rooms available and our hosts will ensure that you have exclusive use to carry out your fantasy for an allotted time.

Are gangbangs, girl girl, gloryholes, bukkake or pegging part of your ultimate fantasy? Then gather your filthy friends and head over and maybe make some new ones ??

I’m sure there are parents out there who adore noisy sex and wandering around naked, but the teens may not approve?! Well you can let rip and raise our roof if you want…no need to swing, just fuck each other’s brains out in the knowledge that the kids won’t walk in! lol

Townhouse is all about no pressure, so there are no expectations. If you want to go with the flow and not pre-plan, then that’s totally fine! Sometimes the best nights are the unplanned ones! But if you have a filthy fantasy friendship circle, looking for the right venue and event to let loose, then you can’t get better than the Townhouse Takeover to explore!

Our hosts will be on hand to help you make use of our amazing facilities and book in to use specialist areas and equipment if they are in demand…we don’t want you to lose out! The pre-bookable areas and equipment are: The cellar dungeon for your sole use, the Fetters Wheel room and Medical room for your sole use, the 2 private rooms, the 1st floor Gloryhole, The Fucking Machine and the multi toy Sybian. Everything else is on a first come first serve basis, so the earlier you arrive the more fun you can have across our 4 filthy floors!

So, let us know your desires or simply come along and fly by the seat of your pants and see where the night takes you!

The important stuff………..
Entry Prices
£10 per person
£15 for non member guys
You will need a £10 cash deposit for your locker key/bar tab

Dress code is dress to impress or fetish wear if that’s your thing. No trainers/pumps/converse/expensive designer ‘trainer shoes’. No sportswear, scruffy work wear. You’re here to pull…make an effort! lol

Doors – 7.30pm til 1.30am
Last entry is 10.30pm (9.30pm for newbies)

Newbies need to pay for their entry in advance to secure their place, so PM us to sort out your payment.

If you are a member, bring your membership card with you. If you are not a member, then you will need full ID. NO ID, NO ENTRY. A photo driving licence is perfect or a passport and utility bill/formal letter.

This is NOT A GUESTLIST party, but newbies do need to be on our private list though after payment.

This is already popular as we’ve been telling our regulars about it, so don’t miss out!
See you all there

COUPLES & SINGLE LADIES Party with Beauty & the Beard 13th March

We’re so EXCITED to be hosting another one of our fabulous private parties, to be held at Townhouse on Friday 13th March 2020 – 8.30pm till 3am

***NO Theme, NO Gimmicks, NO Fuss, JUST Filth***

This is a Guestlist only event. If you would like to attend then just email Vicky, the owner of Townhouse at infotownhouse@aol.com

All COUPLES & FEMALES are welcome. If you are not a member of Townhouse then please bring along two forms of ID with you (one photo ID AND something with your address on)
Couples need to either hold a Townhouse couples membership or a verified and established couples fab profile

Newbies will need to book and pay in advance to secure a place, please contact Vicky at the email above to arrange this.

We have a strict dress code at Townhouse – ripped jeans, sportswear and trainers are NOT permitted

Entry Prices:
£20 Couples
£10 Females
£15 for overnight stays (if you wish to make a night of it)

Established Couples – if you introduce a new couple to the club you’ll receive £5 off your entry fee on this night

Single Females – if you wish to come along with a couple you can benefit from a £5 reduced entry fee. You will have to arrive and book in with a couple to receive this offer

We’re super excited and very much looking forward to seeing you all there
Mr&Mrs J (AKA Beauty and the beard)

MILF Monday @ Townhouse ‘The Paddy’s Day One’ 2nd March 10.30am – 3.30pm

Slainte!! It’s March, and Townhouse are celebrating St Paddy’s day! Will you have the luck of the Irish at this filthy instalment of daytime debauchery? Maybe wear green or a shamrock to be sure…to be sure (grooooaaaannnn)

If you’re planning on joining us for our Paddy’s day shenanigans, please email Vicky at infotownhouse@aol.com and we’ll be sure to add you on to our guest list. Please be aware that this event is GUEST LIST ONLY!

Entry fees – it’s a tenner for the guys, but our lovely ladies will get FREE ENTRY!

** Please note – if you are new to Townhouse, you will need to contact the club to pre-pay your entry fee in order to guarantee your place on the guest list

Look forward to seeing you all on the 2nd!!
‘The Small Print’

The club can be found at 9 Union St, Birkenhead, CH42 3TL.

This is a daytime event for ladies and couples who want to meet single guys. Some of our girls are greedy too, so we aim for a 3:1 ratio of guys to girls at their request.

Doors open at 10:30 and closing time is 15:30. Last entry is 1pm

We try to cap numbers at 100 to make it pleasant and comfortable for our guests, therefore this is a strict GUESTLIST ONLY party. Please only place your name on the list if you can definitely make it as places are in demand; we have a 3 strike rule for people who continuously waste places.

Please be aware that we have a strict ‘smart/casual’ dress code – no hoodies, sportswear or trainers are allowed!

NON MEMBERS/NEWBIES – You are MORE than welcome at the club and I’ll be happy to give you a tour of the place and answer any questions you may have on the day. Please try to arrive before 11.30 for your first visit, so we can show you around before it gets busy!!

You will need to bring some photo ID with you AND something with your address on. NO ID = NO ENTRY! Driving licence is the gold standard for ID, but a passport & utility bill is also acceptable. Townhouse members, just bring along your membership card.

You will need a £10 CASH deposit for your locker key/bar tab which is offset against your bar bill. Townhouse has a very cheap licensed bar to keep you refreshed throughout the day, so please leave your own drinks at home. Towels are available for £1 – or you can bring your own

PLEASE DO NOT PARK in Bookers car park or the car parks of other local businesses in and around Union Street. Parking enforcements are operating in the area so please be aware of this. There is plenty of on-street parking in and around Union Street, HOWEVER please ensure you are considerate towards our neighbours & don’t park in front of people’s houses or somewhere you are blocking driveways or even the road!!

SILENT DISCO Swinging Party @ Townhouse 14th March 2020

This is a night NOT TO BE MISSED!! After the MASSIVE success of our last event, we can’t wait to do it all again!

So what is this all about?….

If you have been to music festivals, you will know exactly how mindblowing this is! Basically we have an amazing smoke and light show along with DJ Climax who will be pumping some old school dance music, backlit with inspiring visuals on our massive projector screen. The twist is that everybody will be given a special set of headphones to have the music transmitted straight to them and to the outside world, you will be dancing and raving to a silent room, but to you guys, you will be raving to an amazing music set which will get your body moving and your pulses racing! We will also be offering you the chance to have some body painting done, UV if you fancy and we will be providing glo sticks/jewellery for that cheesy edge! lol

The dresscode for the night will be either clubbing gear or immediate dress down so you are ready to get sweaty on the dancefloor and then sweaty in the playrooms. This night is all about the Music, Fun and Filth and it’s just £10 per person!!!!! (Max 8 guys who must be members). You can buy your advance tickets easily via paypal or bank transfer, just email me to book at infotownhouse@aol.com or you can pay via our box office here http://www.ticketsource.co.uk/townhouse…an admin fee applies if you use the box office.  If you prefer to pay on the door, it’s £15 per person.

Doors will open at 8.30pm and the silent disco will start at 9.30pm til 12.30am which gives you plenty of time to take things upstairs afterwards; Last entry is 10.30pm on this night. We will require a £15 deposit on this night for your bar tab and the headset. The £15 will be offset against your bar bill with any difference refunded when the headset is returned and checked for damage.

What are you waiting for? Get those tickets booked and start counting down the days!

See you there

Vicky xxxxx

PLEASUREDROME! Clubbing @ Townhouse 29th February 2020

Welcome to the Pleasuredrome!!!

Townhouse presents the Pleasuredrome Clubbing night, taking you back to the days of super clubs in the 90’s and 00’s when dancing til your feet fell off was standard.

Our entire groundfloor will be a dancefloor, with music from the 90’s and 00’s pumping throughout….you won’t be able to sit still! The main lounge will be the UV area with inspiring visuals, snacks to keep you going and glo sticks/jewellery/glasses. The bar will be your refreshment area with sparkly, shimmering drink options and of course, cocktails. We will have free shots on offer too if you can’t stop dancing long enough for a proper drink!

As this is a clubbing night, it would be great to see you all in clubbing gear, white/UV or bare as you dare with body paints and gems! Just go for it and light up the room!

If you want some time out from the music and some convo with our other sexy guests, then our chill out ‘Catacomb’ lounge will be open in the basement or you can head out to our newly refurbed and heated courtyard outside.

If you’re feeling frisky, then our dancefloor isn’t just for dancing…. Just sayin’ 😉 But if you want to channel you inner porn star, the feel free to get your filth on upstairs in our many playrooms.

Tell your mates, grab your most revealing outfit, get creative with your body glitter and let’s dance like everybody is watching! Lol


The stuff you need to know

Entry Prices
£25 couple
£10 females/TGirls
£30 for single guys (must be a member and we allow a max of 8 guys)
A £10 CASH deposit is required for your locker key/bar tab but your entry and bar balance can be paid by card if you wish.

Overnights are available for £15 per person and these can be booked directly with us.


Doors 8.30pm til 3am, last entry is 11pm or 9.30pm for newbies.

Don’t forget your membership cards or full ID if you are not members – Accepted ID can be found on the Useful Info page on our super doper website.

See you all there!
Vic and Jim xxx